i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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