I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
