I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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