Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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