Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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