it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
