I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
