Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Randomize
