While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
