Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
