Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize