well I can't set my house on fire every night
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
