We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize