Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
