Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
