if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
