then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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