saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Your dad touched me again.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
