I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
