we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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