My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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