My sheets look like a crime scene.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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