he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
