So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Send help, water and tortillas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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