Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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