worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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