Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
