i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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