and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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