Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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