I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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