I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
