Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
