I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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