HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
