it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's official drugs can't kill me
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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