she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
