Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
