areolas are like halos for boobs.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize