So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
