I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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