Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
