I'm jealous of your bromance
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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