Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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