Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
