She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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