Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
