He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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