Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
