I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you inspire me to be a worse person
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
