My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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