dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
