My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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