I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
