My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize