I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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