They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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