I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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