so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
