oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
